Thursday, May 19, 2011

Surviving Break-Up(s)

Friends have seen me gone through few breakups all my teenage (gunakan perkataan ini selagi boleh sebelum cecah 21tahun! Cepat! Sebelum Oktoberrr!) love life and their significant remarks would be, "You seemed so happy as though nothing has happened, how did you do it?". Obviously, no sane person would be fine with losing something/someone they love dearly, but you gotta move on y'know. Life is short. See tup tap tup tap I'm no longer a teenager bulan seploh ini (-_-")




Of course, diambil kira siapa yang end the relationship, whether on good terms/otherwise, reasons behind decision dan sebagainya. Dan semua faktor ini semestinya buat fasa perpisahan kita itu berlainan. Tapi this is what I can give you in general, like how I handled it and what you can apply. This entry is a response entry to FB msgs I've received from my past break-up. LOL SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG GUYS T_T





Guide to Surviving Break Up(s)
Panduan Hadapi Putus Cinta


Cry your heart out
Menangislah seperti Kasim Selamat cucuk mata kau. It's good to express yourself and let anger/sadness out. Tapi ingat! Satu atau dua malam sahaja! Jangan drag setiap malam kau nak nangis, memang pathetic, sila offer pipi untuk ditampar.


Listen to sad songs
Inilah masanya nak perasan semua lagu putus cinta dicipta untuk kau! Seriously. Tiba-tiba perasan semua DJ stesen radio tempatan memahami apa yang kau lalui dan mainkan lagu Bila Cinta 20kali sehari, padahal tengah promosi Lagenda Budak Setan. BILA CINTA INI... TAK LAGI BERMAKNA... YANG KURASA KINI... HANYALAH NESTAPA... pastu kau taktau pun nestapa tuh apa, tapi nak rasa gak.


Empty Recycle Bin
Self-explanatory kot nih. Jangan dikenang kisah/memori/files lampau. Tak elok untuk soul kita. Kalau orang kata pengalaman mengajar, ya baiklah, ambil pengajarannya saja. Pengajaran sahaja! Memori cinta luka biar Naser Wahab je kenang. Lagipun tak elok kalau future pacar kita tengok kita masih simpan barang-barang lama dan gambar etc. You wouldn't like that from him too, am I right? Yeah I know I'm right.


Remove All Contacts
Ini paling vital ever, jangan contact your bekas kekasih please. Dia call, reject. Dia sms, delete. Dia comment Facebook, unfriend. Dia email, letak dalam spam. Meanie? Not really, this is good for both of you to move on. At least sampai you dah certain you takde feelings lagi. Then nak contact balik sukati, masing-masing dah besar. OMG this is so my favourite phrase now, 'masing-masing dah besar'. So adult! So reaching 21years old this coming October!


Talk About It
Takpe, ceritalah. Luahkan. Dekat orang yang paling rapat dan won't judge you. Then STOP. Stop talking about it. Stop dropping his/her name in conversations. Stop relating all incidents with what you've experienced with this specific past of yours. Have no one to talk to? Remember... God? It's okay. Benar bila ditimpa musibah barulah sujud lama sikit, doa panjang sikit. We are only human.


Get Occupied
Stop mourning already and do something with your life. Setiap detik you are on your own doing nothing, minda mesti mengusha kisah lampau dan manusia lampau. Jangan biarkan itu terjadi. Bila ada masa senggang, cepat-cepat isi dengan aktiviti bernilai! Lepak dengan kawan-kawan! Takpe kalau kawan kata 'huk aloh kau, dah break baru cari kitorang', takpe. Takpe sebab padan muka kau, siapa suruh perangai camtu, lupa kawan bila bercinta. Kahkahkah.


Change Routine
Dulu setiap malam bergayut? Setiap pagi bermesej? Setiap hujung minggu berdating? Masa untuk tukar rutin itu! Kalau dibiarkan kosong, lagi kosonglah rasa hati.



Establish Rapport
Datelah semua orang yang ajak kau dating selama ini tapi kau terpaksa tolak sebab berpunya. Keluar makan, tengok wayang, pergi gym, whatever you fancy. Ini bukan looking for love atau pengganti, just to get a good look of the outside world and what it has to offer. Sebab these are all the rebound people, dan most likely you are a rebound to them too.


Give Change A Chance
Takyah nak Obama kat sini, Hanis. Hehehe, bila you are completely certain dah move on (emotionally), you can give love a chance once again. Remember, jangan zalim terhadap diri sendiri & future pacar dengan go into relationship without getting over your past guy/girl. It's unhealthy.


Listen to Happy Songs
Yeahhh, mannn.



176 comments:

  1. very inspiring :D. thanks for the info ;D haha

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  2. haha kelakar la part ni

    " pastu kau taktau pun nestapa tuh apa, tapi nak rasa gak."


    well setuju dengan get occupied tu, if kita ta lepak dengan kawan kawan itu yg masalah tu, duk teringat kat dier, duk salahkan diri sendiri, pastu duk merayu kat ex aishhh

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  3. very inspiring. thanks for the info :D

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  4. yup ! kita rindu nak buat rutin tu je sbnrnya pastu benda tu lead kepada sedih teringat lompat atas katil peluk bantal nanges.

    benda dah terbiasa. bangun pagi msg, tido call, tny mkn minum, acewah, kate bercinta. :)

    alhamdulillah, 1st love dlu je kaw² xboleh accept. boleh plak nanges dekat ibu ayah paadhal umo baru 18, hahaha. ingat balikk, maluuuu.

    latest entry : cheese tart ♥

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  5. mule2 mg susah..tp kne cube jgak...
    sy da bjaya...
    urmm...cume sok bufday ex,patotkah sy wish??

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  6. gone through breakup 2 years back and that is what i do. luckily able to survive. goog sharing hanis.

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  7. Betul3. sume betul. nah 100/100 ~ markah penuh utk hanis. hihi

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  8. tips yang terbaik.. thanks.. mcm tetawu jew hanis nie...

    agak matang disini.. hehhehe

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  9. so true.... life would be better when you'd feel everything instead of something..

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  10. yess i'm first. love ur writing. yeah everybody love!!. btw thnks for ur tipss..

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  11. this things help.
    seroiously, thanks hanis

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  12. at part "Listen to sad songs" saya slalu wat cam tu bile tgh bersedih :(

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  13. Tak boleh nak cakap apa dah! Totally riteee! Sokongg sokonggg hehehe :)

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  14. good advice. :)
    saya buat sesetengah perkara yg kak hanis tulis and mmg btol2 melegakan. :))

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  15. Thanks Hanis. Memang inilah masanya nak perasan semua lagu putus cinta dicipta untuk saya pun.

    Haihhh biasalah hidup kan*saja nak sedapkan hati sendiri HAHA :D

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  16. nih mesti dah lebih 100 komen nih?
    i would like to extend my hand and ajak dating.. eh.. XÞ

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  17. haha like it ! tapi for me, kalau boleh nak elak dengar all sad songs. time tu memang lagi menjejeh2 air mata keluar. tak berhenti2. lmao :D

    break-up mybe adalah one of the time to improve ourselves. sume yg berlaku ada hikmahnye, ye dak?

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  18. ini lebih kpd pompuan ni.. kalo lelaki rilex je kan.. tapi rilex tak bermakna lelaki tu takde perasaan.. betul ke salah ni? haha

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  19. haha...seriously...i wat sume tue mase break up..worth it...

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  20. i like method2 kat atas tu but jangan dengar sangat2 lagu yang sedih2 especially lagu anang tu.... okay...

    siapa sedih sila tengok citer komedi....kalau kelakar yang boleh buat u gelak sampai keluaq ayaq mata lagi baik ...

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  21. life must go on, bebeh! live up ur life! ;)

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  22. walaupun dah lama xde break-ups..but its still nice to read...

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  23. huhu.. bukan setakat lagu, filem & now your post. mcm tahu2 je.. anyway great info.

    yeah, hidup cuma sekali so enjoy walaupun sakit sikitlah. :)

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  24. tapi masa breaks up la paling best layan nangis dengar lagu sedih..

    Gambar kantoi meraba dalam train

    Ada apa dengan dara

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  25. bulan 10?? berapa hari bulan?? haha..

    perghh.. memang buat list sungguh2 ni..

    ultimate blogging challenge!

    http://twins-detwin93.blogspot.com/2011/05/ultimate-blogging-challenge.html

    join jangan tak join! hehe..

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  26. hehe, now bukan setakat lagu je yg tetiba ada kaitan, macam2 dah, dramalh, kisah orglah & now your post. mcm tahu2 je. heee..
    hidup cuma sekali & enjoy it, lupakan (walaupun perit) :)

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  27. huhu.. try to forget about him walaupun sakit. :)

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  28. thankssss :D

    suka part sila offer pipi untuk di tampar. LOL

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  29. Yahh totally trueeee .Thanks sys !

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  30. jarang komen, tapi kali nih mmg antara yg terbaik laa ko hamis.

    "nestapa...tak tau apa makna, tapi nak rasa jugak.."

    haha! awesome~

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  31. yeahhh, can be Dr Cinta la kak hanis ^^

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  32. haha..

    tibe2 i teringat, time i break up dulu2 dok layan lagu KC&JOJO - CRAZY..rase macam bersalah gile...

    ermm..but then i feel such a loser..hihihih...

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  33. serius! let time heal the pain. lama2 kte akn rasa sume tu just puppy luv. lol!

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  34. well kak hanis, I had experience how bad it is to forget about a guy who dumped me. he was caring even after we broke up, but then I found a perfect solution to forget him by unfriend him in facebook. now I discovered victory hehehe

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  35. yeah suka bila hanis tulis panjang panjang camnih!

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  36. hi..hehe..siyesly..very the like entry ni...thanks tau=)=)

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  37. Its really work ' call,reject. sms, delete.'

    And after all, rupanya bukan susah sangat nak lupakan. Ohh ohh keknis, thanks for this ! :)

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  38. Pergi Gym taler Dumbbell paling berat angkat kuat jerit kuat2... puas hati.. :P

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  39. Hanis, macam tengah memahami sekarng nih....YES now...SEKARANG nih....

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  40. yarhh.. all tips are very cool ;) i loikee!

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  41. oh, it really works hanis.
    tapi, sometimes ada la juga mimpi2, tak mintak pun, tapi dah nk mimpi nak buek camnoooo. hhahahah tp dah 6 bulan ni, i think i dah manage to forget him la kot. :)
    cuma kdg2 terrindu, tertengok gamba, terfeeling kjp2, itu sahaja.

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  42. This is so true. Betul yang kita miss is the moments bukan the person pun really kan. Sometimes teringat tu benda biasa right?

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  43. Need to ask my friend to get over with her ex, by reading this!

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  44. huu..bab contact tu susah. dah remove, da delete, tapi nu fon memang dlm kepala..ahirnye termesej jua..pahtu sendiri sakit ati balik..T_T

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  45. dulu aku senang je nak lupakan my ex bf haha!

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  46. terima kaseh adik hanis kerana memberi komen yg sgt2 berguna...kepada insan yg sedang mengalami masalah ini...

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  47. Hanis, you should add this video prior to your blog post. well, it describe it all.. :)

    Statangers, Again.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSdELZxEnHY

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  48. sangat berguna..biasanya kita rindukan rutin..susah juga nak lupa kan..

    Jom baca niNur Kasih The Movie..Penangan hebat 2011..

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  49. ok teacher..thank you teacher..happy teacher's day teacher....(smbil balik pegang tgn)

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  50. wahh..dh boleh masuk umo 21 dgn jaya nya,,,sgt mtang!

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  51. Good tips my dear..really love this entry..Its really helpful for me :)

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  52. perempuan, berdiri atas kaki sndri ;)
    itu perlu. kne kuat kannn, suke entry yg ni ;')

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  53. dear... u bln 10 ni baru 21 tahun...
    i bulan 6 ni... arghhh, tak smpai sebulan...huhu~

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  54. Yup..this is what we should be done after broke-up with someone...for guys, we also hope just be like a friend and never bring up all the past in future friendship...learn to be an adult...!!!world Are waiting for u to move on your life to the fullest...!!!

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  55. thanks for the info..

    nice one.

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  56. tanpa rela teringat kisah chenta monyet dahulu. tetiba :D

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  57. what happened to singing "I Will Survive" at the top of your lungs?

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  58. betul sekali kata2mu itu...Hanis Zalikha!

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  59. dr cinta!

    hehe. untuk laki jadi jugak ke?

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  60. talk from orang yg sedang membesar!! :P

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  61. i moved out from those places that we used to be together...then live a new lifes..tp lama jugak la nkilangkan rasa tu..akhirnyaaa...BERJAYAAAA..=)

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  62. cool je nasihat..best nk baca sampai habis :)

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  63. Ha'a betul jugak kan. Kita cuma rindu rutin tu sebab dah biasa. Cam bangun pagi terus msg si dia and so on. Hurm, kenapa la tak terfikir sebelum nie. Haha

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  64. wow hanis..what a words!very inspiring...:)

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  65. saya suka baca entry ni :D

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  66. im going thru a pretty shitty breakup rite now..and i hope ur tips will help..thx a lot hanis :)

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  67. yep..it's indeed true..anyway, welcome to adult world soon..;)

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  68. Eleh hanis, this whole entry sebenarnya adalah untuk remind semua orang your birthday's in October kan kan kan. Hahahah <3

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  69. Like your quote "Listen to sad songs". Memang time tu DJ semua tau lagu2 sedih untuk kita.... Pehhh session break up adalah memenatkan. Time to get married..weehoooooooo =)

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  70. hanis promote besday ye?? ok ok.. sy igt... nak beli hadiah siap2 ni.. ;)

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  71. PART LAGU BILA CINTA TU SERIESSS LAWAK :D

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  72. I LOVE THIS ENTRY FREAKING BAD.OSEM OSEM :D

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  73. http://afifahyusof.blogspot.com/2011/01/cinta-2011.html

    How about this?
    :')

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  74. sis i lebewwwwwwwwwwww l;a..hahah really3 help me yang ..need support right now .

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  75. tiba2 rasa hanis zalikha memahami yang saya ni di ambang2 break-up. haha. oh nooooo! i'd better put this entry as bookmark now ;P

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  76. pwooorrrh, mcm tetau je kita break-off. jom kita kapel???

    http://shamsulcairol.blogspot.com/2011/05/19-reason-ko-kan-bergelar-janda-berhias.html

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  77. tips dr pengalaman sendiri ke apa nih??

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  78. i'm so happy after break-up, buang all his stuffs, lovey dovey cards, burnt all pictures and everything. no more sedih-sedih. it's not that hard to move on when he is the one who made me cried.nway, ur tips, just ohsemmmmm. love it. :D

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  79. quite radical..hahah i dunno if i can do the unfriend delete contact thingy.. really cant -.-" fail.

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  80. i love this entry MUCHOS!
    btw i took 6 months to get over my break up
    so kesian
    now SINGLE takut nak in love again!

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  81. okey dah start ada lawak2 sikit.. teruskan... grrr

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  82. i woke up this morning after break up yesterday and i read your blog. this entry just at the right time! now i can eat sagu gula melaka many times even though with broken heart. I means, i can move on now. thanks hanis. smart girl with brilliant sense of humor.

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  83. this is not working for vice versa sexES :D tapi aku sorang je lelaki yg baca entry ni? nooo. but I know, you write this for ladies.

    now I know, korang perempuan kalau korang cuba ignore ex, if and only if in this case is me. thats mean you want to move on and on on on on on o o *terlelap*

    nice

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  84. TQ miss. =)
    if i may, quote, being dumped is as similar as being left in darkness.
    it's good to acknowledge the fact that, ..... even superheroes need to be saved.from the darkness consuming them.

    What more us.
    This entry.. THIS'S (THE) BEST BRO, THIS'S (THE) BEST BRO, ~ =))

    (okay, seriously i hv to stop escaping into superheroes series)

    yang suka entri ni and sedang dlm mode SBU,
    FahmiMahat

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  85. Damnnn good nasihatt! Love it!

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  86. Damnn good nasihat! Betol, no reason to sedih2.. chillin` n keep moving on. Life is short. =)

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  87. "Remove All Contacts"
    Ini statement yang paling dipersetujui sekali, sebab saya buat berkesan.
    Tapi still susah nak lupakan.

    entri terbaru
    review movie nur kasih

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  88. heheee,, berduka tu kejap jer...

    sebab nnt berpuluh lagi yang datang tuh..hu2 :)

    untuk dapat yang terbaik, kter akan jumpa yang tak baik dulu :)

    Jemput ke Segmen saya :)
    ”Nizam Ijam-Segmen Tempat Menarik di Kawasan Anda ”

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  89. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=219897334705163

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  90. Kalau ade button 'super like', zu dah click dah.. Suka suka suka! My 9years relationship end up 2 mnths before our wedding. Jz imagine how crazy am i facing it. T_T

    I read this book "Mars and Venus Starting over". It's a great start for me to move on..

    Chill babes. (^_~)

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  91. yap betul lah hanis... but the worst thing to pollow is change the routine.. take time lor
    patu kalu bab message.. kalu i msg my another fren.. mesti kene kutuk nyer sbb time nie nak cari dorang

    but this reality... i'm no longer his cyg.... huwaaaaaaaa... TT_TT

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  92. You post it with style! Gila ko ni Hanis! Pandai mengarang doh! hahaha. Anyway, this is the best post eva so far! And YES, aku amal semua tips kat atas ni tanpa satu pun tertinggal and guess what? Ianya berjaya! :)Hanis kini boleh digelar pakar kaunseling atau mungkin Doktor Cinta? Pemikiran Hanis mmg boleh terima pakai! haha! tapi sumpah aku tak joking -__-"

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  93. hanis,u mentioned october so many times...haha enjoy ur 'teenage' life then :)

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  94. Pergh happy je baca comments korang. This right here, this is why I write! What keeps me going!

    Thanks for the love yaw.

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  95. Eh malulah, siapa bagitau birthday I October nih? Buat susah-susah ajer.

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  96. Nice suggestion here..

    Esp. bab dengar lagu sedih dan perasan diri sendiri.

    Like! ;)

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  97. WHAT A GOOD ADVICE. YG BEST TUH PART 'GIVE A CHANGE A CHANCE'.. WOW. ITU HARUS!

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  98. typing ur blog address, browse through then stop... this new entry really kena kt btng hidung la...!! thanks hamis.. =))

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  99. hey guys , hope can share something


    http://malaysianepic.blogspot.com/

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  100. this entry give me heal aftr i juz break up wif bf...mungkin aftr break up kita lg menghargai diri sendiri,n this is the time for us to love ourselves more than the other...

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  101. wow.. best !!
    sgt membantu.. entry ni kene pada time la..

    orang laki nak guna langkah2 cam ni ..ok je kan??

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  102. lama dah tak merasa breaks up. lupa dah.

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  103. zaman muda remaja kian hampir penamat,,huhuhu...

    banyak lagi tak merasa...;(

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  104. yeahhh....i likee this...padan muke bila cinta tak lgi brmkna hnya lah nestapa...heheheh

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  105. perghh...mane taw ney pengalaman kew???

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  106. moral of the story,
    berchenta biar light n easy.

    jangan terlalu cinta nanti jadi nestapa.

    manusia kan macam pantai.sekali air bah sekali pantai berubah.

    apapun layankan aje...semua mendalah tu akan jadi bahan hiburan bila dikenang2 4-5 tahun lagi :)

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  107. mbok Hamis,
    LOL itu Lots of Loves ke Laugh Out Loud? hehe..! :-)

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  108. tips terbaik . thanks for sharing sis :)

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  109. seriously i like this entry a lot. boleh pakai not only to survive break-ups, but also all the time actually. =)

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  110. tahniah..hari ni blog ni masuk berita harian..good luck


    from www.syokdownload.com

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  111. listen to the sad songs. yeah much true :D Thanks!

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  112. i pictured him in my mind and say "I let you go".

    Lepas tu move on macam biasa. I'm heartless like that sometimes. hehe

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  113. aku just baca subtopic je...tak baca details..malas..haha..so hanis, i think the best way is to muhasabah diri balik..aku pernah putus cinta..once..alhamdulillah nak kahwin dah sekarang..breaking up is like hell..semua benda tak kena..yeah we can change our routines and all, tapi the thing is we should go back to Him..jaga solat, banyakkan baca Quran..dengan itu insyaAllah hati boleh tenang kembali..

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  114. yeay!! bnde lpas toksah dkng~ pndai2 la bwk diri..xkn xde sidia kite xleh idup kn..^_^

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  115. that part "offer pipi untuk ditampar" tu, even lepas kena tampar pun i would still be crying.. HAHA

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  116. I just broke up..last nite..wahahahahahahhahah~~!

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  117. have a look on our online shopping blog :)

    http://showtimemsia.blogspot.com/

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  118. setuju dengan cara you, perhaps you may add listen to zikr...bole nangis tahap luar biasa bila dengar zikr ni

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  119. Hang tak kata hang terra!

    Hang kata.. hang terrar kutuk orang ja!

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  120. ...adakalanya mudah untuk kita cakapkan? tapi semudah itukah untuk kita laksanakan? Macam mana yang X-nya ada di depan mata, means kerja sebumbung...hmmm...kena tambah lagi tips ni....:)

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  121. klu putus kawan , ade tips tak ? teheee~

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  122. never had that experience. pity me tho :(

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  123. to used to be like this a few years ago..;)

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  124. hanis!!!nak share kt blog i boleh?:)
    boleh ek??:)

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  125. Jom buat blog, ramai lagi kawan2 baru yang sudi menceriakan hari anda..betul tak you all?

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  126. Dah orang tak suka, so tunggu apa lagi. Cari yang lain jer. haha..

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  127. kalau der akaun fb, remove nama dia dari list anda. tak yah tgk dah muka orang tu..

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  128. Semua point bagus, but takyahlah sampai nak delete or remove ke ape kan. Tapi depends pada orang jugak kan..

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  129. bila baca entry ni, x sabar pulak rasanya nak CLASH! bhahahaha

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  130. thanks a lot hanis... its mean a lot to me.... =)

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  131. sama macam saya buat kak hanis..memang sangat berkesan!=)

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  132. Never knew you had this topic... haha now this kind of topic I can relate to.. About a year too late la tapi..

    2 more thing you can add to the list

    1)Write about it (similar to talking about it cuma you can express yourself without people knowing who you really are.. people don't have to know you just as long as you have a medium to let it out)

    2)Think positive- every breakup is a lesson that will help you get the right one. (though I find it hard to prove it myself, it does give some form of hope.. or at least an illusion of it ;) )

    hmmmmm.....

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